The kids and I had to live separately without my husband for 61 days due to the Covid-19 Pandemic. We had never been apart for so long at a time. My kids were 6, 3 and 2 years old.
It was difficult at first, adapting to the change. The whole country was under Movement Control Order (MCO) that limits movement, making it difficult to get necessities; groceries, milk formula and diapers for the kids. We have no family living within 10km radius. My husband had to stay in Singapore because he was working in essential services in Singapore.
The first week, we ran out of groceries, milk formula and diapers. I made orders online and the wait for the things to arrive was agony.
Working from home was another hurdle. The connection at home was unstable. We did not have internet connection, so I was basically relying on my Celcom mobile connection, and it was really unreliable.
We were living in Pasir Gudang, Johor and the place is a bit crowded but not much telco towers around (that was what Celcom told us). It was very difficult to download anything what more to upload any files. Every day I feel like crying. Some days, even Whatsapp messages could not go through and conversations were interrupted due to poor connection. Thankfully I did not have to attend to any facetime meetings.
Social interaction with outsiders/family were limited. Video calls were frustrating most of the time. We only connected via Whatsapp messages to convey updates. I dare not make visits although my in-laws live about 20km from us. Afraid of contracting the virus along the way, eg; when refuelling the car.
The car barely moved throughout the time. Only a couple of times, when I had to travel to office once because my son’s milk formula was sent to the office address (due to poor connection while shopping on Shopee), a trip to nearby speed mart for emergency top up of groceries.
Stress was high and anxiety was all over the place for me. I need to tell myself every day that I can do this, I can survive. I can take care of the kids on my own while doing my job.
I tried to stay on schedule for the kids; meals, naps, bedtime, play in the pool once a week and monitoring homework for my 6 year old daily. But kids will be kids. They like to break the norm once in a while. I try to keep them entertained.
Alhamdulillah, since my husband and I are still able to keep our jobs during the time and our pays were not cut, we need not opt for the moratorium for our loans. Although living costs for my husband in Singapore was expensive. So I decided to cut down on expenses here. We did not order take out, just basically had soup with rice every day & some days sardines.
My husband came home after 61 days and took two weeks unpaid leave to be with us while the end of the pandemic was still out of sight. During this time as it was also stressful for him not being able to work due to Singapore’s Circuit Breaker policy that was announced on 3rd April 2020. As the number of infections in Singapore for foreign workers were also shooting up high, we decided it was safer for him (InsyaAllah) to come home at the time.
After a while, my husband had to let go of his job in Singapore in May 2020. He was promised full months salary for May 2020. Despite that, when it was pay day, he realised that he owes the Singapore Government about SGD40 after they cut off his salary to pay for “income taxes”. So that is that.
We received Bantuan Prihatin Nasional (BPN) by the Government somehow and decided to save it for rainy days that might come. Indeed it came.
After a few months, we ran out of our savings as the pandemic has affected companies and my husband couldn’t get any call backs for any interview. But we still needed to pay bills and get essentials.
Meanwhile, my husband did delivery services, runner service, and at last, he found a career in Takaful Insurance business. And after about four months doing Takaful, he was still struggling to make ends meet.
Luckily I still have my job. But we were still set back because my husband was previously the breadwinner so it is still hard work to get back on our feet. In order to help, I started seeking for other income sources. And found Forever Living Products, introduced by my aunt who was honestly trying to help me out.
In September 2020, I officially became a Forever Business Owner (FBO) selling Forever Living Products. I’ve never really done anything like this. My previous small business selling hijab was a bust. Tried selling food but also was not making much profit. But with great guidance from my sponsor (my aunt) and her team, I’m really getting a hang of it.
What we’ve learned through all this? It is important to stick together in whatever circumstances, and be prepared for tough times, financially and mentally. We have to learn to forgive and keep relationship strong with the people around us. Patience and persistency is key to survive and keeping our sanity during the crazy transition.
Nobody could have anticipated what had happened. Plans were scrapped, and new ones took its place. Normal was new and nobody had really have any experience to handle all this. It was pulling the rug from under all our feet. But with great faith, patience and persistence, there is nothing that can bring us to our knees. We just need to push on. Push harder.
Akmal Writes 